Self-love is the Key
To value, feelings of worth, inclusion significance and ultimately respect. We cannot earn the respect of others if we have no respect for our self. We cannot expect others to love what we reject if we have no love for our self and we cannot expect value from others if we give our self no value. What happens in our life happens in circular motion: whatever we feel we then give out to our world which comes back to us ten-fold through the natural Law of Attraction.
So if we feel awful and negative, we give that out, the energy we send out attracts similar negative energy which then returns to haunt us even more. That is why certain people constantly have negative experiences. Nothing will change until they change their thought processes. So you need to be careful what you focus on because that is all you will get in life!
However, how do you begin to love yourself when others might not have affirmed or loved you?A very good question, not so to answer because it is difficult to do. It means you have to try to overturn years of negativity and being undervalued by parents or lovers. However, it starts with establishing a few things:
The value you place on yourself,
Gratitude for your life and blessings,
What you wish to do with that life,
Self-appreciation and living in the present and
Self-forgiveness.
Keep out of the past unless it is positive!
I have learned that when we keep our self in the past it is because we don't like our present too much. We probably feel isolated, excluded, unloved, unappreciated, so we secretly blame our self, we use our depression to maintain attention, but of a sort which, sadly, alienates us from others and have counter-productive effects. In short, our current unhappiness helps us to hark back to the past to remind our self of how terrible we are while making our situation worse.
We keep the negatives stuck in our head, perhaps for sympathy, instead of facing them, acknowledging them, forgiving OUR SELF and others and moving on. I could not forgive until I found love .. my own self-love. To find true love from someone else, you have to love yourself first. No one can love you for you.
But people who live in the past tend to take their present for granted, while many others have not been so privileged to have one. We have no present or future if we live in the past. We are so busy looking back there, we have no time to make a future or to appreciate what we have. Hence we come across as selfish and ungrateful.
Someone once said, "If you want to know what your future will be like, look at your habits now". Whatever habits you have today will dictate your tomorrow. If you have negative habits that keep you stuck in the past, you will only keep getting what you've always got. Your future will be no different from today. Your habits, the way you do things now, will guarantee that.
So, in a nutshell, we have to stop beating our self up over past actions, stop aiming for perfection and stop comparing our self to others, otherwise we will always feel inadequate. You also have to appreciate your limitations, praise yourself DAILY for being a wonderful and unique human being. Stop seeking the approval of others when the only standard should be your own, and look outwards to others in love and appreciation than just focusing on yourself.
I have found all these to be most helpful in developing self-love but, most of all, accepting myself as I am and giving thanks for every new day of my life, instead of taking it for granted, has been the biggest factor in nurturing my self love and moving me from feeling like 'crap' to feeling fabulous and fantastic.
****Today's Assignment: Name 5 things you love about YOU!
Dont worry, Im not going to ask you to show anyone. This is just for you to remember how important you are in your own right!
You dont have to prove yourself.. JUST BE YOURSELF!
Have a Self Loving Day!
Make it a great day!
-Phoenique Farmer
-702-608-0654
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